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* Horn broken. Watch for finger.
* Your kid may be an honors student, but you’re still an idiot.
* Cover me. I’m changing lanes.
* We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
* He who laughs last thinks slowest.
* Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
* It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
* Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
* Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
* Born free . . . Taxed to death.
* The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
* All men are idiots, and I married their King.
* Work is for people who don’t know how to fish.
* Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
* Sorry, I don’t date outside my species.
* No radio–Already stolen.
* Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.
* Few women admit their age; fewer men act it.
* Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.
* IRS: We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.
* Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills
all its students.
* Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
* We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
* Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.
* Puritanism: the haunting fear that someone, somewhere
may be happy.
* i souport publik edekashun.
* Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.
* There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those
who can’t.